


Attention.

by cly_smp



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:53:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25840906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cly_smp/pseuds/cly_smp
Summary: All Green wanted was attention.Even just a crumb of it.
Relationships: Ookido Green | Blue Oak & Red, Ookido Green | Blue Oak/Red
Comments: 4
Kudos: 162





	Attention.

**Author's Note:**

> this draft had been in my folders for a year now so i decided to finish it.
> 
> i just love angst so much.

Green had always strived for attention, as it was one thing he had been deprived of. It’s not because he’s always wanted to be the center of attention, no, he never wanted it in the first place, but it’s the feeling of lacking something so much that you start to crave for it when you never had it before. He never really knew why, he can only find himself coming home from school and showing Daisy his high marks from the tests he’s had that day, or running to Daisy’s room to show her a Pokemon he got to befriend.

It’s the day he met Red is when he realised the reason why he’s always asking for attention.

No, not the day they met- the day when Professor Oak, his own grandfather, met Red.

He did not like making puns out of his very name, but he had been green with envy when he and Red would go to the laboratory, showing off the marks they’ve gotten from the tests they took from school. His own grandfather would show how proud he is for Red, while the best he could give to Green is ‘be like Red’.

Red had always had higher marks from him, although Green didn’t mind. Maybe it was because he was younger that time that he had never pondered upon the negative feelings he’s had, maybe it was because he only wanted to focus on his friendship with Red that he did not realise the anger slowly brewing within his heart.

It had been the very moment when they’ve gotten their own Pokemon that Green had entered the lab to find his own grandfather, Professor Oak, giving Red his very own Pokemon, when it had been agreed upon that the two friends would get them at the same time.

Green had never felt so angry at his life, something inside of him snapped, something flipped the switch in him that he started putting a strain between his and Red’s friendship.

It angered him more that Red stayed blind at why Green started to resent him, and all Green could do was distance himself from everyone. He kept his distance; he kept his space, living only for the sake of beating Red and being the strongest Trainer ever.

He never once asked if he only wanted to beat Red for the sake of winning, or did he want to beat Red just so that his grandfather could finally acknowledge his achievements?

He actually did ask this once, when he found himself lying on the grass as he lets his Pokemon play around, getting a well deserved break after beating all of the Gym leaders in Kanto. He found himself staring up at the sky, contemplating the choices he’s made up to that point.

He was eleven, yet he was already reminiscing the choices he’s made. _How mature of him_.

He had asked himself the question, confusion creating an emotional turmoil inside that he nearly had to beat himself up physically to stop even thinking for an answer to his own question.

He ventured on with Indigo Plateau, beating strong Trainers left and right, rising through the ranks until he found himself staring at the gates where he’ll be fighting with the Elite 4. The very thought excites him, only four Trainers left until he can finally be satisfied, finally achieve the victory he’s been looking for all this time.

It’s not lie that he had a hard time thinking of whatever strategies, whatever moves, and whatever tactics he had to choose just to win against each one of the Elite 4. It was a challenge that got him going through with the whole battle, the high of victory running through his veins that he trudged on despite the fatigue in his bones threatening to make him drop and forfeit the battle.

Soon enough, he found himself standing in front of the Champion- the former Champion, he thought as he called for his Pokemon back in its Pokeball.

No one, except the Champion, saw the smile on his lips. It was genuine, fresh, satisfied, everything that Green had been striving for after months of prideful smirks and degrading retorts.

It was exactly a day and four hours when he lost the title that he had just regained, not even done with the high of winning.

It was exactly a day and four hours when he faces Red in the battlefield, a dumbfounded look on Green’s face as he taps the Pokeball against his fainted Pokemon, whispering an apology as the red light scoops the tired creature back into its capsule.

He could only stare at Red, an unreadable look on both of their faces. None spoke a word- Red rarely did- and that’s when Pikachu lets out a cheer, hugging its Trainer.

Green could only sheath his Pokeball back in his belt, heading towards Red to reconcile after a long journey of him antagonising the person he once called his best friend.

He was supposed to face Red, smiling sadly, patting him in the back as he congratulates Red on beating him.

If only his grandfather had arrived at a later time, pushing through the Champion’s room’s doors as he walks towards the two eleven-year olds, both tired from a long day of battling.

Green’s world stopped as Professor Oak did not even spare him a glance, congratulating Red for becoming Champion and telling him of all the opportunities he can get.

Once again, something inside him snapped, one that may have ended his relationship with Red for real.

“YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME!”

It took everything in him not to breakdown in that spot, holding back the tears that made the back of his eyes burn badly as they fight to be released.

“IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ME!”

It took everything in him not to crumble in front of his rival, and in front of the very person he’s been trying to impress his whole life.

It took every bit of his will not to be his weakest, trying to look strong even if he knows that the tears lining his eyes had made it clear that he was anything but strong.

“Green, you know why you lost?”

He tuned out the rest of the words directed towards him, already feeling his world crashing down around him, his heart breaking at the seams, and the last string of his good will snapping after hanging by the thinnest of threads.

At that point, he had become lost. He already lost.

He couldn’t see properly as everything had been blurred by tears, one of them already running past down his cheeks.

He was only eleven. He didn’t know what to do.

So he did what he thought was the best course of action.

He left, keeping his head high as he hardened his eyes in hopes that it made him look strong despite the beads of tears already forming wet streaks down his face.

He left, a new resolve forming in him as he releases a barely rested Pidgeot from its Pokeball, voice barely audible as he begs to be brought home.

As he stepped onto Pallet Town, he sprinted as fast as he could into his house, surprising Daisy as she had been watching TV in the living room, and locking his bedroom door behind him as that is the only place he can ever bring his guard down.

And so he cried.

* * *

It had been years since Green had changed for the worse, becoming a mere shell of himself as he went through each day with a blank face, a blank mind, and an empty heart.

Daisy was- still is- worried for him, always giving the smallest of efforts to help cheer him up.

He appreciates it, he really does. He just can’t seem let it affect him positively.

Green says the last of his goodbyes to his classmates, having graduated from college at the Kalos region. Eevee babbles from his shoulder, the only Pokemon he brings with him to class. The rest were at his apartment, as he knew his battle days were over ever since he arrived to Kalos.

As he takes the walk back to his apartment, he looks up at the sky as he remembers what had happened before he even got to Kalos.

It took him months, maybe it had been years (although you wouldn’t know that if you had shut off everyone by hiding out in your room), to get his life back to track. What got him out of his room was the offer given to him by taking over Viridian Gym.

If that’s where he can salvage the last of his pride, then he’ll take it, anything to try and save himself from falling further into the hole that he had created. It only took weeks for him to make the Gym his own, raising the standards to qualify for a battle with him just so he can feel the high of battling a challenging Trainer.

The first time he had lost to an actually strong trainer, he felt no remorse, no anger, and no hate. He felt glad, satisfied.

He let a small smirk on his face, obviously empty if you looked deeper into his eyes, admitting his defeat and gifting the Trainer their very own Earth badge.

Being a Gym Leader lifted his spirits bit by bit, being able to regain who was once known as him, but it wasn’t enough. He might act like himself, but he’s not completely himself. There’s still a shell enveloping him, the events of his still everyday life trying to chip away at the thick façade enclosing his true self.

There was one time when Daisy told him to come home, sounding so urgent that he had to close the gym in the middle of the day just so he can take Pidgeot and fly as fast as he could to Pallet Town.

Daisy wasn’t there- no, she called just so he can face Red.

Both males, both at the age of fourteen years old, standing at the distance that could only be interpreted as if they’d engage in a Pokemon battle at any moment.

But that wasn’t the case; the distance was made by Green for the sake of keeping his distance, as well as for his sake of not giving into his weakening thoughts as the memories of the day he lost flashes through his mind in full detail.

It was Red who closed the distance between them, standing at an arm’s length away.

Luckily, Green had been excellent at reading Red that the latter didn’t need to speak to get his message across. Consider them telepathic, but hey, they once were the greatest of friends.

“.. You’re going away to train?” Green had asked, his eyes hardened and dull, although you could see it slowly going glassy. He didn’t know why either.

Red nodded, the firm look on his face giving way for guilt to show.

“For how long?” Green asked, out of courtesy, or maybe it was out of curiosity, maybe a mixture of both. You could never know, it had been years.

Red shrugged, looking off to the side. Green understood that even he did not know the answer.

Green, like years ago, did not know what to do.

All he could do was pat Red on the shoulder, mumble a simple goodbye, and turn on his heel as he calls for Pidgeot to bring him back to Viridian city.

Green pauses, looking down at the Leppa berry he had been munching on upon coming home. He contemplated whether throwing it across the room, biting it as harshly as possible, or to place it in the trash where he couldn’t feel the dread of remembering that day.

The berry is red. His best friend was Red.

He misses Red.

After chucking the fruit into the trash bin, He rests his head on top of his folded arms, shutting his eyes just so the tears can’t slip out- but that’s not the case as it instead squeezes them out.

He misses Red. He never saw him again since that day.

Green can’t remember when he had admitted it to himself that he’s in love with his best friend.

Maybe it was the day when they met (he can’t really argue with himself at how cheesy that sounds).

Maybe it was the day Red beat him over the championship.

Maybe it as the day he met up with Red at Pallet town just to say goodbye.

Green wipes the tears from his eyes, getting up from his desk and starting to pack the rest of his stuff to get ready for the flight back to Kanto.

As he starts placing suitcases side by side, his Rotom Phone rings from the dining table. With a soft sigh, he heads out of his bedroom and picks up the device.

“Hello?”

“RED!”

He pulls the Gear away from his ear, wincing, but he suddenly realises what Daisy just said.

“What?” He says, genuinely confused.

“He came back!” Daisy exclaims, voice a bit muffled (from sobbing, he guesses, judging by how deep she’s breathing). “He- He came back! He’s alive!”

Green stays quiet, not knowing how to react to the situation.

“You gotta come back! Grandpa’s holding a celebration for his return!”

He winces. Just what he needed to hear, great.

“Great,” He says, trying to sound cheerful (he’s failing, definitely failing at it, he can hear Daisy frowning through the phone). “I just graduated today, haha. Congrats to me.”

“Perfect! We can celebrate the-“

“Daisy.”

“Yeah?”

Silence.

“Green?”

“.. Nothing, I’ll see you soon.” He moves his thumb over the end button.

“When are you coming home?” She asks.

He pauses.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Green, wait-“

He finally ends the call, taking deep breaths to stop himself from breaking down.

How can one simple phone call manage to break him like he did when he lost?

* * *

“Daisy, when’s Green coming home?” Professor Oak asks during dinner, as the celebration is held at Red’s House. He chews silently, enjoying the taste of a home cooked meal.

It’s been a long seven years since he’s back with civilization, and he’s trying to cope with most of the changes. One of which is Green being missing from the action, and truth be told he misses his old best friend. He was surprised to learn that he’s in Kalos to study for college, he never thought Green would be the type to do so.

“He said he’ll think about it, I don’t really get what he meant.” Daisy answers, though Red can see the lie through her words. He looks down at his meal, eyebrows furrowing as he recalls what happened back then when he won against Green.

No one except Red saw the hurt in Green’s eyes upon seeing Professor Oak scold him over losing a Pokemon battle. Sure, it wasn’t just a mere Pokemon battle but the battle for the Champion title, but Red had known Green’s motive for the entirety of their journey.

To gain Professor Oak’s attention, just that one thing. How Red knew that, it’s something he managed to observe along the way.

“- Red? Is something the matter?” His mother asks.

He looks up from his meal, seeing worried faces headed his way. He shakes his head, continuing to eat. Conversation ensues, with him replying with simple nods and head shakes.

Soon dinner had been consumed, Daisy and Red decided to rest in the living room as the adults take care of the dishes. Well, they insisted, so both younger took the opportunity.

“Hey Red,” Daisy speaks, her voice suddenly so soft. “Would you want to talk to Green?”

At that simple sentence, you could see Red’s eyes light up at the suggestion. A small smile placed itself on her lips, and she takes her Rotom Phone. Pressing a few buttons and going through apps, she hands him the device and pushes him up the stairs.

“You get your privacy.” She winks, heading back into the living room. He only nods, having no other complaints as he heads to his old bedroom.

It’s the same as he had it upon leaving. He places his hands on his old desk, a smile making its way to his lips as he remembers the days when he and Green would hang out in his room to finish their home work and then go outside to play.

Oh, the fun days back then. He misses them.

“Daisy, is this some kind of fucking joke to you?”

Red brings the device up, eyes widening as somehow he’s face to face with Green himself through the screen.

Both males stare at each other through their Rotom Phones, not knowing how to react.

“Oh, um, Red.” Green says, looking off to the side as his complexion slowly reddens up in embarrassment. “I didn’t know you had Daisy’s phone.”

Red merely shrugs, sitting on his bed. He watches as the screen shows him blurred images, until he can see Green’s face again.

“How are you?” Green asks, now sat down on a chair. Red tilts his head from side to side with a matching shrug, and Green could only roll his eyes, “Yeah, fine, I understood what you meant.”

Red blinks, mouth opening and closing trying to form words to say until he hears Green laugh at his predicament.

“I’m kidding, dear Arceus.” He snickers. Red could only show an embarrassed smile. Green lets out a sigh, “I just got my ticket to Kanto earlier, I was already packing up my things earlier before I could go home. I’d get there.. the day after tomorrow.”

Red nods thoughtfully, a small smile on his lips.

“Oh, ya missed me didn’t ‘cha?”

Red nearly drops the phone as the speakers blare out Green’s oh-so obnoxious laughter.

“You’re easy to tease, Red. Just like back then.” Green says, his snickers turning into light chuckles. It was quiet between them for a while, and he speaks up again, “I missed you though.”

“.. I do too.”

Green widens his eyes at the phone, cheeks slowly turning red as he just stares. Red merely stares back, raising his eyebrows as if he were asking if something was wrong.

_Could Red speak all this time? What the fuck?_

“Well, I better get going to the airport.” Green says, scratching his cheek. “See you soon, I guess.”

Something jumps up on Green’s lap, and Red could only see two perked up ears from the screen.

“Oh, yeah, Eevee says hi.” Green says. Red awkwardly waves, though Eevee responds positively.

“I gotta go now. See you, Red.” Green smiles for one last time, and his face disappears from the screen.

Red frowns, standing up from his bed as their call ends. He didn’t see Green react to him speaking for what seems like the first time in years. He admits that it was an asshole move to pretend to be mute, but his mother had been understanding as to why he didn’t want to speak. She kept up with his lie, and he owes her a lot for that one.

Though he still feels disappointed that Green didn’t react that he spoke..

* * *

It’s been years.

He’s finally back in Kanto.

Of course, listening to the language makes Green realise at how much he’s gotten used to speaking in Kalosian. It’s just unreal.

He stands by the entrance, ready to release his Pidgeot and fly back home.

Well, he _was_ ready.

“GREEN!”

He didn’t expect Daisy to just tackle him into a hug while Red watches behind her.

How embarrassing.

“I missed you! How dare you not even visit or call while you were in Kalos!” She cries out, ruffling his hair roughly. He yelps, trying to get away from her grip- for some reason he couldn’t even push her away. She finally lets go, sniffling, “So?”

“So what?” He asks, only to receive a jab into the side. He rubs at the part, averting his eyes as he says, “I’m sorry.”

“Aw, I forgive you.” Daisy smiles. “Now come on! I bet Grandpa’s waiting.”

“What?” Green stares at Daisy, suddenly finding the will to push her away. He almost winces at the hurt look in her eyes, causing him to look away and say, “No, I’m going to Viridian.”

“You’re not even coming home?” She says in disbelief.

“Home?” He frowns. “Viridian is my home.”

“Green,” She says, her voice having a warning edge to it, “Please.”

“Daisy,” He responds, as if challenging her. He sighs, turning to Pidgeot. “.. Let’s go.”

“Green, wait.”

He stops, looking down at Red. Daisy’s surprised, not expecting to hear the guy speak so suddenly.

Green didn’t expect it as well, staring at the guy with his face flushed red.

Wait, what?

“What.” He asks, trying to make it sound as flat as he can.

“I’ll come with you.” He says, releasing his Charizard from its Pokeball.

“And you guys are leaving me here alone?!”

Green gives her a blank stare. She sighs.

“Come for dinner, okay? If you don’t I’m going to shred your goddamn-“

“Alright, alright! Geez!” Green laughs. “I’ll come for dinner.”

“Good.” She smiles. “See you later! You too, Red!”

The guy merely gives her a nod, turning to Green as if saying “ _So?_ ”

Green grumbles, “Fine, let’s go.”

And they take to the skies

* * *

Coming back to his apartment in Viridian was.. eventful?

He expected the place to be dusty, but he didn’t expect Red to be sneezing all over the place- which brought the two of them to do a clean-up of the whole place.

By the time the sun has risen the both of them had been left sweating on the couch, tried from dusting and sweeping and mopping.

“You should have went home.” Green says, breathing heavily. Red shakes his head, his breathing just as heavy. They’ve been hard at work for two hours, good thing Green’s apartment isn’t that big. He sits up, sighing, “Why did you follow me home, Red?”

Red shrugs in response, sitting up as well. He averts his eyes, hugging his knees up to his chest, “I missed you.”

Green stares.

“I did too.” He says, leaning against the couch. They sit there in silence, settling in a comfortable quiet. Green had thousands of questions in his mind, what he didn’t know is that Red had millions. Green sighs, standing up, “I’ll go shower. Do you want to eat out, after?”

Seeing Red nods, he flashes a smile before heading towards the bathroom.

* * *

Turns out they didn’t went out to a restaurant. They decided they were too tired to go out so they went to have their food delivered- thank Arceus for that option.

Red had decided to take a bath, and Green is currently sitting on the couch, staring at a Leppa berry that was on his dining table.

He remembering being back in Kalos, eating an Leppa berry and thinking of Red. Because the berry was red.

He covers his face in his hands. How did it come to this. He expected to come home to his apartment in peace, spending the last moments of his free time before going to meet with his family.

And here he is in his apartment while Red is in his bathroom.

Could his thoughts get any more worse?

Green couldn’t care less that he was into guys. He’s had a few flings back in Kalos, but most of them were casual. He didn’t want to go through anything serious.

Was it because he knew he was still into Red?

No, that couldn’t be.

“Green?”

Thank Arceus he didn’t jump. He looks up, seeing Red with a towel atop his head.

“Thanks.” Red says, sitting beside Green.

Green could only mumble a “it’s nothing” and continue to muse, trying not to think so much.

But how can he not think so much when it’s Red slowly inching his way to Green until their thighs were literally touching?!

He can’t think straight. Of course, he never was straight in the first place, but he literally cannot think properly right now.

He’s a jumbled mess up in his mind, going through flashbacks of all the important memories between him and Red.

The day he met Red.

The day he declared Red as a rival.

The day he lost the Champion title to Red.

The day he met up with Red before he disappeared.

He feels a hand clasp his own.

“What.” He says out loud, turning to look at Red. Red stares back.

“Are you okay?” Red asks, not letting go.

Well, he may be Green but he’s sure as hell his face is red right now.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Green scoffs. He could have shrugged of Red’s hand. He could have let go. He could have moved away. But he didn’t, and he held on.

“You’re crying.”

Green almost laughed. He’s only read this in books, seen it movies- the moment where you’re feeling fine, but you’re actually crying and you only notice it when someone else mentions it to you.

“How embarrassing.” Green says, a sardonic smile on his lips. He uses his other arm to wipe off his tears, not making any attempt to let go of Red’s hand.

“It’s not.” Red says, his voice as soft as ever, even if it’s deeper than Green’s. It’s soothing to the ears. Green wonders why he doesn’t speak often.

Finally, it’s acknowledged.

“Is this okay?” Red asks, his grip becoming a little tighter on Green’s to emphasize what he meant.

Green shakes his head, “It’s fine.”

They just sit there in silent, hands tightly knit together, probably relishing each other’s presence.

“Why did you escape to Kalos?” Red asks once again.

“You’re pretty chatty today.” Green says, a light chuckle escaping his lips. He leans against the couch, letting his head rest on the width of the backrest. Upon seeing the slightest frown in Red’s blank face, he sighs, “I didn’t escape, I just needed a new scenery. Kalos is great, by the way, I learned new things. There’s a new Pokemon type, you know? Like Fairy type. They’re cute and all, but they’re hella powerful if trained right.”

“Is that the truth?” Red asks. Green gives him a look.

“Why would I lie to you.” Green scoffs, loosening his grip against Red’s hand as a threat. Red caught the bait, however, as he seems to clutch onto Green’s hand. He sighs again, “Trust me. I needed a change somehow. It worked.”

“It did.” Red nods once, now rubbing circles into Green’s knuckles with his thumb.

Green feels weak.

This shouldn’t be happening.

“Why are you doing that.” Green asks, though his voice is as flat as ever. If you listened closely you could hear it’s actually shaky and nervous.

Red didn’t mind, however, “You look like you needed it.”

“How would you know that?”

“You always look like you need it. More so back then.”

It continues the attack at the emotional walls that Green had built up over the years.

“I couldn’t do it back then.” Red’s voice becomes even softer. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologise, asshole.” Green says through grit teeth, trying not to break.

“I wasn’t there for you when you needed it.” Red’s voice had become a key to breaking Green down, rendering him soft.

“Shut up.” Green whispers, not having the energy to raise his voice because he know it would break before he could even get a word in. He repeats, shutting his eyes, “Shut up.”

“Okay.”

Red didn’t really do anything, but he did offer a shoulder when Green had turned to wrap his arms around the taller guy, releasing every bit of emotion he’s repressed over the years.

Red could only rub consoling circles into his back, offering whatever comfort he can ever offer.

All Green ever needed was attention.

Red was there, attentive as ever, giving it to him as deserved.

**Author's Note:**

> i apologise if that wasn't the ending you expected ^^; i hope you enjoyed, though!


End file.
